It is common to hear a person justifying his act when caught and ask. First of all , if you were ask to explain, you'll do so to give clarification on your side. Second, if that act is against standard of course you have to justify yourself. Have you once felt in a situation where in your no way to go? your trap, you wanted way out but every time you are near the door, and you are starting to see the light, come again the biggest struggle you are to face. They would not let you out of the unpleasant situation. I don't know why , I just fell like I am drowning again. I thought I would be free now, but after a few weeks my freedom was taken away from me again. It's just sad because I have tried my best to get out and suddenly just one call and your blown up again. The efforts and prayers I have been uttering seems to disappear instantly, maybe the devils are feasting now while the angels of God is mourning of my defeat. I stumble and fall down , but I would want to get up and try again, until I master my failures and made them my motivation to start moving out and never look back. Oh, God I am so sorry. Thank you that by your grace and mercy I can still come to you and cry out. Forgive me.